Managing health issues and dementia

(an update from my previous post....) I continue to struggle to help my loved one with dementia as it relates to her food choices. Heck, I struggle with my own food choices never-mind helping someone else. Soon after we had a diagnosis of mixed dementia I was informed that life expectancy is often shorten. When …

True Thoughts?

Anxiety is often a result of our thoughts. I have a thought about a circumstance. My thought creates a feeling. That feeling causes me to act or not to act. And that action or lack of action creates a result. A result that may be unwarranted. My loved one with dementia recently moved to a …

Life Interrupted

A year ago I set a goal to publish once a week. How hard could that be? To sit down and write for 20 or 30 minutes. Well my life was interrupted and I have not published weekly. My dad turned 92 years of age on March 17th and shortly after he decided to join …

Life is not going as planned

At the same time I am moving my loved one with dementia from her current assisted living to another, my 92 year old father needed to be placed into a nursing home. There is no stress in my life! Of course there is stress. I would not have tackled both at the same time but …

Anticipatory grief

I have not been motivated to post a blog. I feel stuck. I am thinking that I can't do anything more than I am already doing. My life is already complicated. Sadly I am now managing my dad's end of life care. God willing he will turn 92 years old in a few days. He …

Fortune Telling

I have been fortune telling lately. And I am not good at it. In fact I am batting zero as it relates to my loved one with dementia. I have envisioned the worse possible outcome and it has not happen. As a result I have felt emotions especially guilt and fear. The circumstances are neutral. …

Compounded Cognitive Distortions

Lately I am using "should" and "should not" statements in my thinking. I "should" know better because I have studied cognitive distortions. I know these thoughts causes me to internalize guilt and externalize anger I also manage to compound cognitive distortions. Lately I have been thinking "I should know better to not jump to conclusions, …

Transformation is like watching a seed grow

As a caregiver I have found myself putting my needs low on my priority list. This is very common for caregivers. But I expect many of us have found ourselves in this position even if you are not caregiving. As a result of not taking consistent care of my needs, I am finding it harder …

New Years is just a day

We did not celebrate a new year. I have in past years but Covid19 is escalating and the right decision was to stay home. We quietly observed with no fanfare the date move from year 2020 to 2021 . There is no change for me as it relates to caregiving. My goal remains the same …

Self-care

Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is not just a day at a spa although that would be wonderful. It is emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual health. Self-care is my word for 2021 Every year I select a word that I use to exemplify my goals and priorities for the year. The past two years I …

And Covid19 keeps taking….

My loved one with dementia has been attending an adult day health program for three years. Given her early onset diagnosis, this program has been a godsend keeping her active and engaged. She loves going to it and missed it greatly during our pandemic shutdown. This week I learned the program is ending on December …

My attitude

My "plate is full". It is bigger than a plate. It is a turkey platter and sometimes a rolling cart. This week the rolling cart is full and has a bad wheel. That bad wheel is my attitude. My thoughts are driving my attitude and I am very annoyed. There was an event earlier this …

What keeps me up at night

My loved one with dementia is my 58 year old sister.She is two years younger than me. She is single, no family other than siblings and a father who is 91 almost 92. She is disabled. I am her guardian, health care advocate and power of attorney. Yet I feel powerless. She needs supervised care. …

Comfortable with Uncertainty

I have been reading "Comfortable with Uncertainty" by Pema Chodron. I am actually going through it a 2nd time and probably will do so again and again. For me it is a book of daily reads. I love books and have purchased many daily reads in my lifetime. It has been a long time since …

60+ years of memories

Yesterday my dad's garage, storage area and his yard was cleaned out. A little bit about my dad. He is 91 years old and has been living alone since my mom passed in 2018. He is the last of his generation, having survived all his family including in-laws. Someone has to the first and someone …

The only constant is change

It is October 1st The hummingbirds that frequent my feeders have long gone. The Gold Finches are no longer bright gold. Locally the leaves are turning fast, up north the color is spectacular. We had the heat on several times last month. Will be putting summer furniture away for the winter. Daylight hours are fewer. …

News and its impact on loved ones.

This week we celebrated World Alzheimer's Day. It almost got by me. I have been preoccupied with several caregiving tasks for my loved one with dementia and for my elderly father (91 years old this year). Just as soon as I thought I had time to breathe and work on my own projects, life interrupted. …

Procrastinate Now

I have a self imposed deadline to post weekly on Thursdays at 10am EST I usually meet that deadline This week I am not motivated to write I enjoy writing I don't enjoy most aspects of caretaking I am putting off tasks that are necessary I am procrastinating now I do not typically allow myself …

My thoughts and a knee jerk reaction

I had a thought provoking discussion this morning. We were discussing our thoughts and how they create our feelings. I had missed a meeting and my knee jerk thought was "I screwed up" and that thought caused me to feel disorganized. The thought did not go away and I started to feel anxious. The more …

Sunburned? Maybe tea will help……

It is amazing how the brain manages memories. My loved one with dementia is impacted with very poor short term memory. Some parts of a new event, a thought, a discussion etc. may be stored. Sometimes not at all. Often times missing parts are confabulated and they are very real to her. Her long term …

Hurry up and wait….

My loved one living at an assisted living had to be tested for the Covid19 virus. Testing was arranged, I hurried to get all the needed permissions for the Primary Care office and then we waited. We waited 5 days to hear results. The test was negative. Years ago I had a biopsy. A routine …

If not now, when?

If you are looking for good news…

Several years ago I intentionally stopped watching news on.....