HartFelt wishes……(my blog)

Dementia and food choices

My loved one with dementia is now managing Type 2 diabetes. She was diagnosed prior to the pandemic. We worked with a nutritionist before medication was prescribed. She does not remember going to that appointment. Eventually her primary care prescribed medication and it helped. Then the pandemic and the assisted living facility went into lockdown. … Continue reading Dementia and food choices

True Thoughts?

Anxiety is often a result of our thoughts. I have a thought about a circumstance. My thought creates a feeling. That feeling causes me to act or not to act. And that action or lack of action creates a result. A result that may be unwarranted. My loved one with dementia recently moved to a … Continue reading True Thoughts?

The 90 second rule

Recently a meditation session introduced me to the concept of the “90 second rule”. I am a logical thinker and it does not feel good when I have a knee jerk reaction. It does not feel good when a knee jerk reaction results in regret. I try counting to 10. It does not consistently work. … Continue reading The 90 second rule

question mark on yellow background

Benadryl and dementia

My loved one with dementia has abused Benadryl (diphenhydramine) for decades. This is my observation and opinion. Benadryl (diphenhydramine) is an anticholinergics and they have been linked to increase risk of dementia. Until a month ago she was able to procure on her own as much Benadryl as she wanted. She simply walked to a … Continue reading Benadryl and dementia

black and white photos of toddlers

Life Interrupted

A year ago I set a goal to publish once a week. How hard could that be? To sit down and write for 20 or 30 minutes. Well my life was interrupted and I have not published weekly. My dad turned 92 years of age on March 17th and shortly after he decided to join … Continue reading Life Interrupted

Fortune Telling

I have been fortune telling lately. And I am not good at it. In fact I am batting zero as it relates to my loved one with dementia. I have envisioned the worse possible outcome and it has not happen. As a result I have felt emotions especially guilt and fear. The circumstances are neutral. … Continue reading Fortune Telling

Executive Function and Dementia

Executive function is the high level thinking skills that control the low level cognitive functions. It is the ability to plan, organize and implement a set of tasks in an efficient manner. It includes the ability to self-monitor and control behaviors and other cognitive functions. Impairments with executive function is often part of dementia disease. … Continue reading Executive Function and Dementia

Compounded Cognitive Distortions

Lately I am using “should” and “should not” statements in my thinking. I “should” know better because I have studied cognitive distortions. I know these thoughts causes me to internalize guilt and externalize anger I also manage to compound cognitive distortions. Lately I have been thinking “I should know better to not jump to conclusions, … Continue reading Compounded Cognitive Distortions


Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is not just a day at a spa although that would be wonderful. It is emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual health. Self-care is my word for 2021 Every year I select a word that I use to exemplify my goals and priorities for the year. The past two years I … Continue reading Self-care

A note to myself

A year ago I attended a seminar and we were asked to send a letter to ourselves. We were given a card and envelope to address. The card was written, I sealed the envelope, handed it in and promptly forgot about it. Yesterday I received the card. It was a surprise to see my own … Continue reading A note to myself

My attitude

My “plate is full”. It is bigger than a plate. It is a turkey platter and sometimes a rolling cart. This week the rolling cart is full and has a bad wheel. That bad wheel is my attitude. My thoughts are driving my attitude and I am very annoyed. There was an event earlier this … Continue reading My attitude

60+ years of memories

Yesterday my dad’s garage, storage area and his yard was cleaned out. A little bit about my dad. He is 91 years old and has been living alone since my mom passed in 2018. He is the last of his generation, having survived all his family including in-laws. Someone has to the first and someone … Continue reading 60+ years of memories

On the bus

I just received my daily text from my loved one with demetia that she is “on the bus”. She attends an adult day health program five days a week. The bus picks her up at her residence and returns her mid afternoon. I am very grateful for the opportunity to send her. For those not … Continue reading On the bus

Next time I will not ignore that little voice in my head.

My loved one with dementia struggles daily with the affects of dementia, add a urinary tract infection and the results are amplified. But the impact of an UTI on my loved one is very cunning. It does not manifest itself overnight rather slowly creeps in. It can go unnoticed for days even weeks. She does … Continue reading Next time I will not ignore that little voice in my head.

Procrastinate Now

I have a self imposed deadline to post weekly on Thursdays at 10am EST I usually meet that deadline This week I am not motivated to write I enjoy writing I don’t enjoy most aspects of caretaking I am putting off tasks that are necessary I am procrastinating now I do not typically allow myself … Continue reading Procrastinate Now

I am a social creature

Over the past five months I have learned more about myself, my likes and dislikes. This was not an intentional analysis. Rather the result of COVID19 protocols. I learned I am a very social creature. I do not do well sheltering at home in an effort to keep myself, my husband, father and sister safe. … Continue reading I am a social creature

I relate to parents of school age children returning to the classroom and COVID19

My loved one with dementia is scheduled to return to adult day health next week. As her guardian I need to sign a document in the presence of the management. Although I agreed to do so, I have not done it. I received phone call reminders and just this morning an email reminding me. I … Continue reading I relate to parents of school age children returning to the classroom and COVID19

I found a “silver lining” to our shelter at home for Covid-19

I am counting my blessings no matter how I find them. I am my loved one with dementia’s guardian and health care advocate. I attend all medical appointments and her care is coordinated with me. There are several health issues that have been monitored by blood tests; glucose, triglycerides, cholesterol etc. Her doctors expressed concern … Continue reading I found a “silver lining” to our shelter at home for Covid-19

Independence Day has new meaning for me

It is July 4th and in the US we celebrate our declaration of “independence” from England. For those history buffs: Americans celebrate independence on July 4th, the date shown on the much-publicized Declaration of Independence, rather than on July 2nd, the date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress. But … Continue reading Independence Day has new meaning for me

I am not taking NO for an answer when it comes to my loved one’s health

It is exhausting mentally and physically managing healthcare for loved ones and keeping them safe! In addition to my loved one with dementia, I assist my 91 year old dad. He continues to live alone in the home I grew up in. He is doing well and has been adhering to the shelter at home … Continue reading I am not taking NO for an answer when it comes to my loved one’s health

My favorite quote; Life should not be a journey to the grave…

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”Hunter S. Thompson I have this posted on my wall. … Continue reading My favorite quote; Life should not be a journey to the grave…

“Deck visits”

I am caregiving for a loved one in an assisted living facility that is six miles away. Despite the nearness, the Covid19 protocol for long term facilities has excluded visits. I have not seen her face to face since late February. That was until today. I was able to spend 20 minutes with her outside. … Continue reading “Deck visits”

Mask (recipe) swap????

I will be brief this week….have to share this…. If you have not been making masks you probably know someone who has been sewing and/or you’ve been given perhaps even purchased a hand-made mask. A mask so you can protect others from the Covid-19 virus when in public. I have sewn several masks but had … Continue reading Mask (recipe) swap????

A new normal

A quick search on “new normal” and you will find numerous discussions. I think it is best described as “a previously unusual occurrence that has become commonplace”. In my lifetime the phrase has been used: after 9/11 to describe the security changes exemplified with travel restrictions; loss of job security as manufacturing moved to low … Continue reading A new normal

If not now, when?

If not now, when? incorporates my new blog with my original posts. It has been a long time…., It has been a long time since I last posted. I spent that time pursuing a passion to help others, specifically caregivers. I studied and sought mentorship. Is it an appropriate time to launch? The answer I … Continue reading If not now, when?


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